THE PLOT
Dogsplaining is a fast-paced, witty Anglo-Nordic saga about the floundering marriage of Morgan and Daisy Somerville. Morgan, a former BBC war correspondent, is eating himself into an early grave. Daisy is staging a sex strike because of her husband's obesity. In a desperate attempt to make him lose weight, save his life, and revive her marriage, Daisy, a feisty Viking Godess, secretly buys a puppy with dramatic consequences. This intelligent comedy stands out because it's narrated by Bjørn, a beautiful, articulate, kind-hearted golden retriever. Despite Bjørn's sensitive and considerate nature, as a dog, he has no filters, and therefore, no qualms about diving into society's most contentious issues. After an exposition of his genius, Bjørn details his journey into the heart of the Somervilles' turbulent marriage. They are argumentative crisis consultants in late middle age, who, not content with fighting over his weight and her celibacy, provoke confrontations with their neighbours on Galahad Island, a gated community situated on the River Thames, West of London. The Somervilles' would-be nemesis is Maurice Oxford, a retired accountant and world-class pedant, who ensures Galahad Island's petty by-laws are enforced with an iron fist. The tipping point comes after the Somervilles prevent the cancellation of Tommy Bentwaters, a divorce-prone Anglophile American rock star, and Daisy celebrates by suspending her sex strike with disastrous consequences. A constant theme is Morgan's battle with his weight, and the problems that obesity generates. Dogsplaining also pokes gentle fun at modern Britain, and addresses issues that baffle older generations. Dogsplaining is rooted in the latest science relating to dogs and their relationship with humans. The main premise is that while scientists recognise the intelligence of mankind's best friend, they have in fact, under-estimated just how smart dogs really are. The ultimate moral is that humans' physical and mental welfare are greatly enhanced by owning a dog.
The audio book, narrated by Malcolm Brabant, is now available on Amazon, Audible and Apple Books. Ten hours of dubious pleasure. It carries a warning. DO NOT PRESS THE PLAY BUTTON in front of the children because of adult themes. Also, laughter can be bad for your health, especially when driving or eating a bacon sandwich, so listen at your own risk.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Dogsplaining/dp/B0FBSC6379
Get a taste of Bjørn's forthright
opinions by downloading the
sample chapter.
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Paper and hardback copies of Dogsplaining are available worldwide from Amazon, and in North America from Barnes and Noble.
PRAISE FOR DOGSPLAINING
Dogsplaining is an indispensable guide to canine thinking and recommended for all humans with animals in their lives. It’s inventive, intriguing, and hilarious.
Ken Bruce. Broadcaster
I read Dogsplaining in one sitting. It’s brilliant, very funny and honest. I was howling with laughter. Finally, I’ve discovered the origins of the phrase “all fur coat and no knickers.” As Dogsplaining proves, not all heroes wear capes, but they do carry poo bags. You'd be barking mad not to read this book.
Beverley Cuddy. Editor, Dogs Today.
Dogsplaining is wickedly funny. It’s a highly original take on human relationships through the eyes of the world’s most observant golden retriever. Some of the scenes are so outrageous that I almost inhaled my morning coffee laughing.
Caroline Wyatt, Radio Four.
Dogsplaining is not the obvious follow up to an international bestseller about the Holocaust. But it’s a welcome antidote to the global misery of the 21st century. A very clever novel where the gags just keep coming. The committee scene in which Morgan and Daisy battle their island nemesis Maurice Oxford is a hilarious satirical portrait of Brexit Britain. A must read.
Martin Brunt, Sky News.
A riotous and ribald helping of trenchantly witty marital dysfunction as observed by a dog. Just what the vet ordered.
Johnny Maitland. Playwright and broadcaster.
Hilarious. A joy to read. We dog lovers believe we understand what makes our pets tick. But Dogsplaining turns that perception on its head. In fact, our little darlings notice every embarrassing human moment and are brutally honest in their judgements. I’ll never look at my pooch in the same light.
John Jason. Broadcaster.
Dogsplaining is hilarious. Dog lovers will adore it.
Laura Trevelyan, Journalist and dog-lover.
THE COVID PUPPY WHO INSPIRED THE BOOK
THE ROOT OF THE BROMANCE BETWEEN BACON MAN AND BJØRN THE NARRATOR.
A LITTLE LIGHT BLASPHEMY
MEET THE AUTHORS
Malcolm Brabant is a veteran foreign correspondent who’s had assignments in over ninety countries, covering wars, revolutions, earthquakes, refugee crises, and the tethered parrot who picked up a parking ticket in Southern Greece. He travels across Europe, shooting and editing his own films for America’s PBS Newshour, and has a gong or five. He co-wrote the international bestseller, The Daughter of Auschwitz, which is the biography of Tova Friedman, one of the youngest survivors of the extermination camp. He is four inches shorter than Trine Villemann and ahem, a tad heavier. Well, more than a tad. At home in Sussex, the family golden retriever identifies him as Bacon Man. Any similarities with Bacon Man in Dogsplaining are purely in the reader’s imagination.
Trine Villemann is best known in her native Denmark as a journalist with impeccable sources and a knack for breaking exclusive stories. She’s the author of 1015 Copenhagen K, a controversial bestseller regarded as the definitive guide to Denmark’s Royal Family. After receiving death threats, she required protection when the book came out in Scandinavia. Villemann has also penned A Queen's Regrets, a novel about the scandal ridden royal family of a small unnamed Nordic country. She met Malcolm Brabant in Sarajevo during the siege, and only gave him a second glance because he made her laugh.They married in Santorini in 1996. Dogsplaining is Villemann’s idea. She wanted it to be a cute and cuddly dog book. But for once in their long, happy marriage, her husband didn’t do as he was told.
Contact: brabantproductions@gmail.com